


Lorne's Warning

by seleneheart



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:46:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22117342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seleneheart/pseuds/seleneheart
Summary: Before an off-world botany mission, Major Lorne warns Sheppard about how to deal with scientists, particularly botanists. Sheppard has his own scientist, thank-you-very-much, and doesn't need any help.
Relationships: Evan Lorne/Parrish
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Lorne's Warning

The door tweeted while Sheppard was putting the last few items into his pack, and he hollered, “Yeah!”

Major Lorne stepped into the room, and Sheppard nodded to him in acknowledgment before turning back to his bag. The major didn’t say anything for long minutes until the silence became awkward. When Sheppard finally looked up at him, Lorne was standing at ease, but he noticed the major was fidgeting with his uniform.

“Something I can do for you, Major?”

Lorne ran a hand through his cropped hair. “I understand you’re leading the botany team to M63-223, sir.”

“Yeah?” John picked up the kit with the Epi-pen out of habit, but then put it down again, realizing that Rodney wasn’t coming this trip. Funny how McKay seemed to have entwined himself into John’s life when he wasn’t looking. He didn’t have time to think about that now. He was due in the jumper bay in fifteen minutes and Lorne really looked like there was something on his mind.

“It’s just that . . . I usually go with the botanists.”

“Are you arguing Woolsey’s duty rotations?” Sheppard really couldn’t see why they were having this conversation. M63-223 had no large predators and wasn’t known to be inhabited. Maybe Lorne had been looking forward to a cushy mission for once, but ducking the hard stuff really wasn’t in the Major’s character.

“No, not that. It’s just, you know . . . scientists. You have to watch out for them.”

“Yeah, I’ve got one of my own.” Sheppard rolled his eyes. That didn’t exactly come out right.

But the statement seemed to put the Major more at ease. “Yes, of course you do. So you gotta understand Parrish. He gets obsessed. He really loves the plants, you know? But while it’s adorable most of the time, you have to make sure he eats. He’ll totally neglect himself if he thinks he’s onto a new species or something. And keep him hydrated, okay?”

Sheppard reflected that no matter how distracted Rodney got when he was working on something, he never forgot to eat. He tried to picture Parrish, but the botany department had never been his favorite place on Atlantis, and he hadn't spent much time there.

He pulled his concentration back to Lorne’s worries. “I always take good care of my team, Major.”

“I know, sir. I’m not questioning your competence. It’s just . . . Parrish. You understand.”

Sheppard wasn’t sure that he did. None of the other team leaders had ever reported that Parrish was particularly difficult. He was sure he would’ve heard about, especially during debriefings when the military officers tried to one-up each other about the crazy things their scientists did. No one wanted to play that game much with him anymore, because no one could beat Rodney for the sheer amount of trouble and mayhem he created.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll keep an eye out for him. Can’t be worse than Rodney,” he added in an undertone.

“Thank you, Colonel. I really appreciate it.”

John swung his pack up and Lorne took the hint, exiting John’s rooms. Sheppard thought the man’s gratitude was a little misplaced, bordering on insulting. Yes, his teams tended to get into the most trouble, but his team always got sent into the hotspots. John always got them back. Okay, there was one small exception, but that wasn’t off-world. Ford had crashed and burned right on Atlantis.

This mission would be just a little sample-gathering in hopes of finding some useful antibiotics for Earth. The SGC’s latest scheme to make the Gate program profitable involved shipping in drugs from the Pegasus Galaxy in hopes of combating Earth’s increasingly anti-biotic resistant strains of bacteria. He didn’t know why Woolsey had insisted he take this team. Something to do with the man’s upcoming performance review, perhaps. Although getting him out of the way while leaving Rodney around was pretty risky, Sheppard thought.

When he arrived at the puddle jumper, both botanists were already there. John grinned, thinking that he understood what Lorne’s whole speech had been about. 

“Afternoon, I’m Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard.” He turned to the very attractive scientist in the very small uniform. “And you are?”

“Dr. Kiang,” she responded. 

He pretended he wasn’t admiring her very curvy legs. He wasn’t sure when shorts had been approved for off-world uniforms, but he thoroughly admired the change.

“Very pleased to meet you.” He nodded to the tall lanky man standing slightly behind her. “Dr. Parrish.”

“Ah, yes, Colonel. An honor to be on a mission with the highest ranking military officer on Atlantis,” the man said. “Although . . . was there a reason why our normal military escort is missing? No trouble, I hope?”

Sheppard shrugged. “Just Woolsey stretching his muscles, I imagine.”

“Ah.” Parrish didn’t say anything further, just stowed his gear in the back of the jumper. Sheppard wondered when the man was going to start being difficult.

John was grinning as he sat down at the jumper controls, bringing the vehicle to life. Dr. Kiang was very attractive indeed. Lorne was a sly dog, pretending to be all concerned for Parrish in hopes that Sheppard would be too distracted keeping Parrish out of trouble to try to make any time with the pretty lady. Lorne had a sweet assignment. He’d have to remember to thank Woolsey later. 

Although perhaps it was best to keep his reasons for his appreciation of the duty rotation to himself.

The transit to the planet went off without a hitch. The two botanists took several readings on various sensors while debating between themselves which direction would be the most productive. Deciding that he didn’t have a dog in that fight, Sheppard lounged against the side of the jumper, his P-90 under his palm, just in case.

He studied them while they discussed it. Parrish had a bony face, but with incongruously full lips and a large mouth. The rest of his body appeared to be similarly full of hard angles and jutting bone. Nothing like Rodney. While Rodney wasn’t exactly plush or even soft, there was a sleekness to him. His muscles were overlaid with smooth flesh, blurring the lines of his body making the whole into a much more pleasing picture than Parrish presented. Rodney wasn’t some awkward stick construct. 

**

Sheppard was bored out of his mind. As much fun as it was trading flirtatious banter with Dr. Kiang, he’d rather be back on Atlantis. Listening to Rodney rant about something, or better yet, listening to Rodney crow about his latest accomplishment. Rodney was way more entertaining than either of these botanists.

“I don’t believe it!” Parrish shouted.

At a run, Sheppard raced to see what the problem was. He found the scientist crouched over some gaudy-looking flower. Parrish was jabbering on about it at about a mile a minute and Sheppard had no idea what he was talking about. He caught a few words that he recognized like ‘fantastic’ and ‘begonia.’ But other than that, the man might as well have been talking gibberish.

“Lorne warned me about this,” Sheppard muttered.

Suddenly, the rest of what Lorne had said came to mind. _It’s adorable most of the time._ Parrish’s long face was alight with wonder and satisfaction, his eyes bright and happy. It was a good look on him. 

Lorne thought Parrish was adorable? Why the hell would Lorne tell him something like that?

Sheppard’s view of Lorne was like one of those sliding pieces puzzles John used to have as a kid, where the picture didn’t make any sense while you were rearranging the pieces, but then all at once, one piece fit and the rest of it made a picture. Parrish’s grinning face was the final piece of the puzzle that was his conversation with Lorne. The Major’s worries suddenly made sense.

But, still . . . Lorne was with Parrish? How had he missed that? He wondered if Rodney knew about it. Sheppard tried to imagine going to bed with Parrish and his presumably knobby knees and sharp elbows. Rodney had cute knees, sort of dimpled. 

Sheppard pulled his thoughts away from Rodney and concentrated on the scientists. He decided that despite the regs, he was glad Lorne had found someone out here to be happy with.

Then something hit him and he had other things to worry about.


End file.
